Are You Gifting for Them or for You?

We all love the idea of being a “great gift giver.”
It makes us feel thoughtful. Generous. Even clever.

But let’s be honest—sometimes we don’t give gifts for the other person.
We give them to feel good about ourselves.

Think back to your last gift.
Was it something they would love, or something you thought they should love?

The Trap of Gifting From Your Own Lens

You walk into a store.
You see something adorable, cool, or fancy.
You think, “Oh, they need this.”

But wait—do they really?

It might be something you love.
Or something you wish someone gave you.
Or something that makes you look good when they open it.

We all do this without meaning to.
We confuse our taste with theirs.

When Gifting Becomes a Performance

Ever picked a gift just because it looks expensive?
Or because it’d make everyone at the party go, “Wow!”?

That’s gifting for the audience, not the person.
You’re playing to the crowd, not the heart.

It’s easy to fall into that trap, especially during holidays or big events.
We want to impress, stand out, be remembered.

But real connection comes from quiet thoughtfulness.
Not flashy wrapping.

Signs You’re Gifting for Yourself

Here’s a quick check.
If you nod at more than one, time for a little rethink.

• You choose what you’d want.
• You spend more time on the packaging than the picking.
• You care more about the reaction than the lasting use.
• You think, “This will make me look thoughtful.”
• You didn’t really think about their current needs, hobbies, or habits.

Gifting is about them, not your ego boost.

Flip the Script: Make It About Them

Instead of thinking, What can I give?, try this:
What do they need right now?
What do they value?
What would quietly light up their day?

It doesn’t have to be pricey or fancy.
Maybe it’s a book they mentioned in passing.
Maybe it’s a framed photo of a memory.
Maybe it’s a food they haven’t had in years.

That’s gifting from the heart.
No spotlight needed.

Gifts That Matter Usually Don’t Go Viral

You might not get Instagram likes for a handwritten note.
Or applause for a simple home-cooked meal.

But those are the things people remember.
Those are the gifts that stay.

It’s not about grand gestures.
It’s about knowing someone so well, you can give without guessing.

A Little Thought Goes a Long Way

Next time you’re picking a gift, pause.
Ask yourself:
Am I gifting for them or for me?

Choose the former.
Every single time.

It’ll show.
Even without the glittery ribbon.

If this hit a little too close to home, good.
It means you care.
And that’s the first step to becoming a truly great gift giver.